So, I've done pretty much nothing today, but I think that was pretty important in and of itself. I needed to recharge myself. I'm feeling standoffish, like I'm holding people at a distance and have been feeling this way since maybe thursday. Not sure why. So I figured today I'd recharge a bit more. We will see how I am tomorrow. I think I do it to myself a little though. I start down that path and don't stop myself, because that's the norm. PTSD related, I dunno. I don't know what's related and what isn't anymore. Sometimes its like one long string of feelings with no break in between. Like a constant whisper in my ear. My ears ring constantly, I have tinnitus, and its kinda like that, always there, whispering, sticking its claws in me. Its aggravating because its nothing that I can fight against physically. I think that's why we lash out at those we love sometimes. We want something tangible to fight against. That's no excuse, there are no excuses, just a supposed hypothesis from my mind to yours. Maybe one day things will get better and that whisper will go away. Maybe pigs will fly too....hmm....if we put them in a plane, does that count?
No comments:
Post a Comment