PTSD

For those of you who aren’t familiar with PTSD, it is a life changing illness brought about by traumatic experiences. As of late, PTSD has been attributed to soldiers, but a soldier is not the only group of people who can endure a traumatic experience. It can be caused by a bad childhood, a car accident, a dog attack, anything that traumatizes the victim to the extent that their everyday life is altered from the way that it used to be. But there is one group that we often forget about that also needs to be championed in the fight against PTSD, and that is the families of the PTSD victims. These are the silent victims, the ones that have to endure with us, and that more often than not, end up with PTSD of their own. Take in consideration the spouse of a soldier with PTSD. That spouse also undergoes an upheaval of their life. They are forced to live with someone who they no longer know or understand. However their lives were before the traumatic experience is over. What they now are forced to life is something completely different. Something that they have no clue how to handle. Something that comes on instantaneously. Oftentimes, the families end up being abused by those who have PTSD, which in turn continues the cycle. Think of the child who grows up living with PTSD daily, and is traumatized by it. That child now has a high risk for doing the same thing when they themselves have a family. But as bad as this may sound, and it is bad, believe me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not going to get into the different programs that are out there for PTSD victims, what I would like to talk about are the victims of PTSD.  Sometimes waking up and getting on with our lives is a hard thing to do. Knowing that we aren’t like everyone else. Knowing that we have to keep control of ourselves, our actions, or we suffer the consequences. What consequences are these you might ask? How many of you have lost friends because they didn’t understand you, or because you no longer fit the mold that you used to? Honestly, can you blame them for shying away from you? They didn’t sign up for that. They never asked to be the friend of a PTSD victim, so why should they stay around you. Besides, you may be a danger to them or to their kids. Sound familiar? AIDS can be transmitted by holding hands. That’s what they used to think in the beginning too, until they did research and learned more about it. We never asked to have PTSD either. We never asked to get in the car accident, to be raped, to be assaulted, to endure hardships on the warfront. But we did. Now is where I’m going to lose a few of you, and that’s okay. You’ll come back once you’ve digested what I have to tell you. For some of us, their behavior IS your fault. Why? Because you hide what you are. You refuse help. You say I’m not that bad. You give a million excuses for the millions of issues that you have, and then wonder why the world is against you. If you want to tell your story, you have to open your mouth. If you want help, you have to open your mouth. This is difficult to most, because that opens the wound again, and sometimes, reliving it is just as painful as the first time. But think about what you are doing by NOT opening up. You are bottling it up, letting it fester. The pain and infection has nowhere to go but in, and it will eat you alive. Think about your daughters and sons. What would you say to them? You would say I know it hurts but it’s for the best. And it is for the best. Once you start opening up, it will get easier, but you have to take that first step. If you keep silent, you are not just the victim, you are also the perpetrator. You are victimizing yourself and those around you. You owe it to yourself to heal, to get better. Will you ever be the same as you used to be by opening up, not likely, but you sure won’t be the same by NOT opening up, so what do you have to lose? For those of you who are the loved ones of PTSD victims, you have a job that almost impossible. You have to be the strong one, the rock. Yes, sometimes the punching bag. No, not physically, but mentally. It takes a loving person to cope with the stresses of someone else’s PTSD, and I do not fault you at all if you can’t do it. It is a tough, often thankless, job. When others are running away, you are running towards. But that is what you do, on a daily basis, you run towards, and honestly, I cannot tell you why. That is an unexplainable phenomenon. Why do you do it? Is it love, a sense of duty, morals? Who knows, and sometimes even you don’t know either, but you do. You are the true heroes in this story. You are the ones who hold it together and without you, well, some of us wouldn’t be here today. So remember, who things seem bleak, like there is no hope, like no one out there understands you and what you are going through, remember that you are not alone. You have your own family. People out there that are just like you, that DO understand what you are going through. Sometimes just knowing that we are not alone is enough to keep us going that one more step. Sometimes that one more step is all we need. This is just an introduction, and in the days to come we will continue to talk about PTSD and what is means to use, as well as what ways we can combat it.

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