Back again

So I haven't blogged for the past 2 days, for a few reasons. First, I've had nothing to blog about, so it's hard write with nothing in mind. Also, It's slipped my mind. Either way, I haven't blogged. I haven't done a lot of things though, so I'm hoping that this week will be a new beginning. I need to get back to cleaning and writing also. Those things aren't going to get done themselves. So we will see what's going to happen. Let's all cross our fingers.

Nothing much

I really don't have much to say. It was a pretty good day, nothing spectacular. Just your average day I guess. The wife is still sick and that sucks but I'm pretty sure we'll figure it out sooner or later. Hopefully more sooner than later for her sake. But that's about it.

Getting on the ball

I wonder why it's so hard for me to get on the ball with certain things. Sometimes I wonder if I give my issues too much credence. I mean, I know they are there and I know that my life has changed dramatically because of it, but I wonder if I don't use it as a crutch at times. Like, if I forget to grab something from the store, It's okay that I forgot, it happens, and with me it happens a lot, but then I don't go back to get that item. I use the excuse of forgetting to not go back. Like I said, I can forgive the forgetfulness, but not the blatant disregard after the fact. Some days I'm all for doing everything right, then others, not so much. We defined integrity as doing what we know is right, even when no one is looking, so here I would have to question my own integrity. Who would know except for me? How do you make sure that you're holding yourself accountable to the most important person that matters, yourself? Accountability is a huge thinh for those like me, because it's the one thing we seem to lose. I think this is because we expect our caregivers to be the responsible ones. We tend to hold then accountable for all of our actions. This we cannot do. I think that most of us are still able to be held accountable for ourselves on some level, and we need to make sure that we are doing it. If not, then we are doing a disservice to ourselves, our caregivers and our families. So we need to get on the ball, we need to become responsible again. Take back a little of what we've lost. It can be done, but only if we want it bad enough.

A long day

Today has been a long day. Most of it good, some of it not so good. The wifey is finally home, so that's a definite plus, and softball was good as usual, just being on the field and enjoying the weather, but it's what happened since we've been home that has me wondering. Even after everything we just went through, why do we argue so much? I know that every couple has their issues, but it just gets so tiring. It just seems like there is always something to argue about. No matter how hard I try to make it different. It seems like we are just destined to fight, if that is even possible. Maybe it has to do with mt PTSD, or maybe it's just me. I dunno but It's gotten old real quick. I've got to figure something out before it drives the both of us crazy.

Nothing to report

I'm tired and could probably fall asleep quickly, and just as I get comfy, I realize that I have to get up and take my meds. Such is life. So get up, take meds, lay down and welcome lala land. I do miss my kids though.

Late

This blog is late since I had a long day and nignt and the time ran away from me. So anyway, I hated leaving my honey alone at the hospital but I'm stuck on my meds so if I don't take them, bad things happen to me. It's just hard for me to see her so helpless and not be able to do anything for her. At least I should be there for her for support,  but I couldn't. So now its off to bed for me.

Blah

Today was a very blah day. I was really rushed and stressed this morning and took it out on people who didn't deserve it. By the afternoon things had calmed down considerably but I was still stressed because the wife has been in the hospital all day and night. Things are going good now but it was hard for me to let other people handle it and me stay home with the kids, waiting for the satellite man to get here. I was in rescue mode. Things worked out though, thanks to the support of close family.